Acknowledging the Waves of Grief

Today is March 31, 2020 and it is the second day of “online school” for my daughter due to the Coronavirus pandemic. I spent the entire day yesterday in my pj’s and robe, it was a beautiful day but time seems to have a weird way of behaving right now, and before I knew it, after juggling work and guiding my daughter with “home-school”, it was dinnertime. The waves of grief have been coming through for me- I had such a heavy heart being in my office space to water the plants and leave the rent- I love my office and the classroom so much and miss being with people in that space. My bike ride home helped me acknowledge and move the grief that was rising in my body.  There are some great articles floating around about grief, and I somehow caught Glennon Doyle sharing a lovely short Facebook Live yesterday about grief, and being in the cocoon of grief during these times. If it stays posted, take a watch.

I have mentioned that I have practiced yoga nidra with Karen Brody for about 8 years now and it has been a lifesaver for me, and I’m currently in her Daring to Rest Academy to start teaching yoga nidra (yay!) Yoga nidra is a wonderful way to cocoon, be still, rest, release, find your true voice, and be in curiosity during these unpredictable times. I have continued to practice Yoga Nidra meditations during this time often listening to them more than once a day. It is a time to be still and to rest, when we can. Sometimes I’m up at 2, 3 or 4am doing yoga nidra when the rest of the house is sleeping. It is a time to surrender to the grief that I’m feeling, that is coming up in different ways, that is ready to release. And I do release, in a powerful way, and it is the easiest release- you cozy up, listen and receive, sometimes even falling asleep (very similar to receiving Reiki actually).

Another way to acknowledge and be with grief is to talk…. this is a big piece of my one-on-one Reiki sessions, you have space to talk, I listen, before you settle into your cocoon of receiving. Being in circle together (via zoom currently) and having a space to talk is also a great way to share, to be heard, and to know that we are not in this alone (it can feel isolating and social media doesn’t cut it for me). So I continue to offer a Tuesday Zoom Circle to meditate and check in with community, and the Reiki Share this month is going to be a bit shorter and on Zoom, I cannot wait to connect with the Reiki community we’ve grown over the past 3 years.

I’m here to continue to hold space for you with distance Reiki sessions, and to hold Zoom-circles to gather in community. I am grateful that I joined 2 ongoing classes as a student this past January, and have been meeting with teachers in circles frequently, and have gained so much support from those circles. I know the value of these gatherings, of meditating together and sharing how life is showing up, so I will continue to offer and hold the space for those who would like to join me.

Last night my daughter had her second big wave and release of grief since school has been canceled, after having a really wonderful day of “online school” where she spent time building 2 forts inside, one outside near her chickens, she wrote, she read, she talked to her cousin on Zoom. At dinner when I mentioned that she might not return to her 3rd grade classroom, the tears, the screaming and the hitting of a cardboard box helped move some grief from her body. She is so SAD. And that is okay, and she felt it, and moved some of it. I hope you are feeling and moving the grief energy, however works best for you.